You’re making me so nostalgic. I have been chasing the sun two decades longer than you. I was engaged at the time of your birth. Newly 20 years old and getting married in August. He was 26 and turning 27 in October.
I didn’t want to get married. But young marriages were the norm in my family. Marry off the girls. It will keep them out of trouble. It wasn’t a spoken thing. And it wasn’t a requirement. It was just the undercurrent, if you know what I mean. My mom married at 20. My sister married at 20. I have aunts and cousins who married even younger. Divorce while absolutely discouraged, was an option. My mom has been married twice. My dad three times. My maternal aunt is on marriage #4. I wasn’t thinking about divorce when I got married, but I know, deep down, I wouldn’t have said yes if it hadn’t been a glimmer of an option.
I was divorced at 23. A clean(ish) break. Pregnant and unmarried at 25. I never married again. I raised my son alone. So, it turns out marrying young didn’t keep me out of trouble, after all. 😉 I cringe when I see ‘divorced’ as an option on legal forms. Do I have to keep marking that? Can’t it be like a bankruptcy and fall off my record after 7 years? I have been divorced 24 years and I’m not a repeat offender. 🤷♀️
This may not sound like an encouraging birthday wish, but I hope you can feel the intended hope buried beneath.
Life can be unpredictable, messy, and overwhelming (or underwhelming) and we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. That can be a tough one to swallow, I know. But I believe it to be true.
I can honestly say I wouldn’t change a thing. My unconventional life has been a glorious adventure. I chose that. I refused to be defined by my circumstances. I prioritized beauty and joy and laughter and grace and forgiveness and hope—sooo much hope. Hope that ‘this too shall pass’, hope that I could learn to bend without breaking, that my necessary strength and resilience would never steal my tender-hearted belief in the good of humanity, hope—and this has been devastating in its own ways—that I could somehow be both mother and father to my son. That the ferocity of my love could, at least in the tiniest fraction, be a salve for his abandonment wounds. That hope is still in progress. His journey is his own and I have faith he’ll find his way. As we all do.
While imprisoned, Paul wrote a letter to the church at Phillippi. He wanted to offer hope and encouragement during trying times. I’m sure you know these words: Finally, brothers & sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
I have livid by many mantras, but this one has been near the top. I cannot control circumstances or other people’s actions, but I can meditate on what is good and lovely and that ability has proven to be a pretty miraculous gift.
wow, this was one of the most thoughtful comments i’ve ever received. young marriages are the norm here in our country too 2 generations ago. i remember getting asked by one of my aunts, when will i get married. it shocked me at that time because i don't remember ever introducing or posting that i have a boyfriend, now i know that's why. my parents married in their 30s so i’m not rushing it tho it kinda feels like i’m behind sometimes as i see on social media that my highschool and college classmates are getting married and having babies. you're definitely such an inspiration, i admire your faith despite the things you've gone through and how you refuse to be defined by your circumstances. i had a fallout with a friend last month which affected me deeply making me a sad sack most of the time. now i’m waking up to my senses that maybe it's time to move forward with grace. it feels like your hope is rubbing off on me. thank you for sharing it with me. God bless you my fellow joy-child <3,
First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Charisse!! You go girl!!!🎉🎉🥳🥳🎈🎂
This was theeeee sweetest message and it’s so beautiful to witness someone speaking kindly about themselves and encouraging themselves. This takes courage and vulnerability. I’m sure God had A LOT to do with those words you spoke to and over yourself 🤭🙏🏾 I’m declaring with you that in 2027 you are going to be even MORE proud about your destination. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically! (Who knows!😉)
aww this was so sweet of you Teighlor! feels like a hug, thank you for speaking life and such encouraging words to me, i need that these days. God bless you too girl! 💜
I'm a late entry 😭😿Nonetheless, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope you've been having some joy in your day, I'm thankful to be in the same corner of the internet with you ❤️❤️❤️
it was a joy to meet you on this little corner of the internet, thank you Zoe for making my birthday extra special with your kind words!!! God bless you 💜💜💜
Hope you had a great birthday, Charisse!! It's lovely seeing some of your early childhood photos.
Sorry that you have had to experience some of the challenges that you have. You come across as a very sweet, loving person full of character. It's clear how much you love your family. I'm sure there are good things waiting ahead in your future.
i had a great birthday indeed, it made me remember how blessed i am and gave me a glimmer of hope about the future. thank you for this lovely message Wayne, appreciate you so much!
Happy Birthday Charisse!!! You are such a wonderful human being and I wish you all the best. You have always been resilient and you will always be. That's just how eldest daughters are but I hope and pray that a man will come into your life that will allow you to be the softest version of yourself. Until then, hold on to God and keep the faith. ✨✨✨
Happy birthday! 💛
appreciate you Jo! 💜
You’re making me so nostalgic. I have been chasing the sun two decades longer than you. I was engaged at the time of your birth. Newly 20 years old and getting married in August. He was 26 and turning 27 in October.
I didn’t want to get married. But young marriages were the norm in my family. Marry off the girls. It will keep them out of trouble. It wasn’t a spoken thing. And it wasn’t a requirement. It was just the undercurrent, if you know what I mean. My mom married at 20. My sister married at 20. I have aunts and cousins who married even younger. Divorce while absolutely discouraged, was an option. My mom has been married twice. My dad three times. My maternal aunt is on marriage #4. I wasn’t thinking about divorce when I got married, but I know, deep down, I wouldn’t have said yes if it hadn’t been a glimmer of an option.
I was divorced at 23. A clean(ish) break. Pregnant and unmarried at 25. I never married again. I raised my son alone. So, it turns out marrying young didn’t keep me out of trouble, after all. 😉 I cringe when I see ‘divorced’ as an option on legal forms. Do I have to keep marking that? Can’t it be like a bankruptcy and fall off my record after 7 years? I have been divorced 24 years and I’m not a repeat offender. 🤷♀️
This may not sound like an encouraging birthday wish, but I hope you can feel the intended hope buried beneath.
Life can be unpredictable, messy, and overwhelming (or underwhelming) and we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. That can be a tough one to swallow, I know. But I believe it to be true.
I can honestly say I wouldn’t change a thing. My unconventional life has been a glorious adventure. I chose that. I refused to be defined by my circumstances. I prioritized beauty and joy and laughter and grace and forgiveness and hope—sooo much hope. Hope that ‘this too shall pass’, hope that I could learn to bend without breaking, that my necessary strength and resilience would never steal my tender-hearted belief in the good of humanity, hope—and this has been devastating in its own ways—that I could somehow be both mother and father to my son. That the ferocity of my love could, at least in the tiniest fraction, be a salve for his abandonment wounds. That hope is still in progress. His journey is his own and I have faith he’ll find his way. As we all do.
While imprisoned, Paul wrote a letter to the church at Phillippi. He wanted to offer hope and encouragement during trying times. I’m sure you know these words: Finally, brothers & sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
I have livid by many mantras, but this one has been near the top. I cannot control circumstances or other people’s actions, but I can meditate on what is good and lovely and that ability has proven to be a pretty miraculous gift.
Happiest of birthdays to my fellow “Joy-child”. 🥰
wow, this was one of the most thoughtful comments i’ve ever received. young marriages are the norm here in our country too 2 generations ago. i remember getting asked by one of my aunts, when will i get married. it shocked me at that time because i don't remember ever introducing or posting that i have a boyfriend, now i know that's why. my parents married in their 30s so i’m not rushing it tho it kinda feels like i’m behind sometimes as i see on social media that my highschool and college classmates are getting married and having babies. you're definitely such an inspiration, i admire your faith despite the things you've gone through and how you refuse to be defined by your circumstances. i had a fallout with a friend last month which affected me deeply making me a sad sack most of the time. now i’m waking up to my senses that maybe it's time to move forward with grace. it feels like your hope is rubbing off on me. thank you for sharing it with me. God bless you my fellow joy-child <3,
First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Charisse!! You go girl!!!🎉🎉🥳🥳🎈🎂
This was theeeee sweetest message and it’s so beautiful to witness someone speaking kindly about themselves and encouraging themselves. This takes courage and vulnerability. I’m sure God had A LOT to do with those words you spoke to and over yourself 🤭🙏🏾 I’m declaring with you that in 2027 you are going to be even MORE proud about your destination. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically! (Who knows!😉)
God bless you girl!! Keep shining your light💛
aww this was so sweet of you Teighlor! feels like a hug, thank you for speaking life and such encouraging words to me, i need that these days. God bless you too girl! 💜
I'm a late entry 😭😿Nonetheless, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope you've been having some joy in your day, I'm thankful to be in the same corner of the internet with you ❤️❤️❤️
it was a joy to meet you on this little corner of the internet, thank you Zoe for making my birthday extra special with your kind words!!! God bless you 💜💜💜
Hope you had a great birthday, Charisse!! It's lovely seeing some of your early childhood photos.
Sorry that you have had to experience some of the challenges that you have. You come across as a very sweet, loving person full of character. It's clear how much you love your family. I'm sure there are good things waiting ahead in your future.
Wayne
i had a great birthday indeed, it made me remember how blessed i am and gave me a glimmer of hope about the future. thank you for this lovely message Wayne, appreciate you so much!
Hi, I need someone to test a joy task, interested?
hmm yes, i’m curious about it. details pls
dm’d
Happy Birthday Charisse!!! You are such a wonderful human being and I wish you all the best. You have always been resilient and you will always be. That's just how eldest daughters are but I hope and pray that a man will come into your life that will allow you to be the softest version of yourself. Until then, hold on to God and keep the faith. ✨✨✨
aww you're so sweet! thank you for being so encouraging, i wish the same for you too. God bless you Ingrid! ✨